The Big Bang

We leave the house for half an hour and return to find the main road outside our street barricaded off because someone put a bomb in the tax offices.

We did not expect that on a cloudy Thursday morning.

Oddly, the police officer let us drive through the barricade to reach our street. Everyone else was turned away. The other drivers must have thought we were superheroes, dashing to the rescue in our hot pink Smartcar, canine sidekick at the ready. Or that we were bomb fodder. While most sensible people would probably be trying to find safety, we were desperate to get home. You see, the tax offices are opposite our street. And our animal army were all at home. Our sister Sarah also happened to be out and about in Llanishen – on the other side of the tax offices to where we were. By now police had evacuated the tax offices and Morrisons supermarket, which is next door to them. But not the residents. Guess we’ll just have to perish then. They hadn’t even told the residents why all of a sudden Llanishen was the place to be. It hasn’t been this popular since…well, never. People were gathered on the Glider field. Which is the worst place to stand as it’s right by the offices and if they exploded, those people would be the first ones wiped out. But the two local pubs were doing well out of this. Ty Glas Road was lined with ambulances, riot vans and the bomb squad. And they’re doing gas works all along Ty Glas Road too. This is the most excitement Llanishen has ever seen. And to think we used to think it was dangerous having the ammunition factory across the road 20 odd years ago. Was it something to do with the anniversary of 9/11? Or was someone really sick of filling out their tax form?

Our sister managed to hoodwink a police officer and he confirmed that there was a suspicious package inside the tax offices and that everyone had been evacuated. We hoped to Red Bull they wouldn’t attempt to evacuate us. For the first time ever, we realised amassing an animal army could result in us being scattered across Cardiff in tiny pieces. Sarah offered to lend assistance should the evacuation order be given. We have enough carriers for the cats and rabbits (well someone would have to share. That won’t end well) and there’s a carry case for the snails. That leaves pup, the iguana, the duck and the snake. We’d have to work out an exit strategy, one that didn’t end in a massive brawl with fur, feathers, scales and slime flying everywhere. Never mind our house, we were more upset that our newly dungeonised writing shed might go up in flames.

We then heard through the grapevine that it was a bomb. Things like this just don’t happen in Llanishen. People don’t even know where Llanishen is! (North Cardiff) You mention it and they stare blankly. Then you say “tax offices” and suddenly everyone knows it. Yep. The goddamn tax offices are our district’s most famous landmark. Quite frankly we’re surprised this has been the first ever attempt to take them down. The first time Llanishen gets put on the map is the day it’s nearly blown off it.

Postie was in our street around half one and we overheard him mentioning an explosion. About ten minutes later, there was a bang! Dogs started barking. About five minutes after that, there was an even louder bang! The dogs ignored that one. The bomb squad had been there for about 4 hours now. They all started leaving after that. The tax offices are still standing. Here’s the news article link and the update. They did do a controlled experiment and said the package turned out to be harmless. Perhaps they bought it from ACME. Really hope they didn’t just spend five hours barricading Llanishen only to detonate somebody’s lunch.

tax offices, Llanishen

the tax offices, as seen from our house