City of the Dead

Calamityville Horror at Bristol airport

at the airport!

Finally, after months of waiting and planning, the glorious day had arrived. The Edinburgh ghost hunting holiday. The day started well when Ryan got up and couldn’t find his suitcase. Then he went to buy an auxiliary cable and dropped his driving licence in Morrison’s before discovering he had a cable at home. Then he lost his Jaffa Cakes. We threatened to leave him in Edinburgh. The chances of him finding his way back would be slim. We picked Neen up and we were off. Until we realised we’d forgotten something important. The Red Bull. After an emergency dash to ASDA we were set. The trip to Bristol didn’t involve any wrong turns or random swearing outbursts, because Neen is an experienced traveller to Bristol airport and navigated well. You don’t need Sat Nav when you have Neen Nav. We found the car park easily and parked in the dirt field before boarding the old minibus to the airport. Except we both tried going to Arrivals. Our thinking was, ‘we’re arriving at the airport’. Apparently we needed departures. Note to selves – never travel without adult supervision. Oh wait, we’re 30…

When going through security, the guy took one look at us and Neen and laughed. All the jewellery had to come off, including chains on skirts and boots. Then Lynx and Neen were frisked. Ryan filmed it and was promptly told off and made to delete his video. He protested the lack of Photos Prohibited signs, as he stood in front of one. Unfortunately, the ban on photos forbade the glorious photo opportunity. The guy who had seen us through first, laughed at us putting all our jewellery back on. We then bought a Red Bull before buying a range of studded wristbands and a spiked studded tie. Mostly people hang out in duty free. As our flight was called, Lynx realised she’d dropped her boarding pass. A frantic scour discovered it by the ties. Disaster averted. As we headed out to the plane, Lynx filmed it and was asked to delete it. They were too distracted by her filming to notice Cat taking photos right in front of them 😀 Currently typing this on the plane and it is so exciting! We haven’t been on a plane for 17 years. Tonight we do the Greyfriars Kirkyard ghost tour. We can’t wait!

on the plane!

on the plane!

We took a bus to the city centre as we couldn’t afford a taxi. We sat backwards which wasn’t a wise move as Lynx gets travel sick and at any minute, we waited for the man opposite her to be treated to the inner workings of her digestive system. Thankfully, it didn’t happen. The bus dropped us on Princes Street, our Travelodge was on Queen Street, which was quite a walk when you’re laden down with suitcases, rucksacks, crutches and excitement. A woman must have noticed our confused, panicked expressions as she came over to see if we needed help then directed us to Queen Street. Surprisingly we found our Travelodge without tears. Probably because Neen has an incredible sense of direction. This might be the first holiday where we don’t get lost. We’ll have to find some other way to entertain ourselves. After settling into our Travelodge, we headed into town to look for somewhere to eat before the kirkyard tour. We passed a bar called Jekyll and Hyde then found a bar called Frankensteins. Or The World Famous Frankenstein to be exact. Torn between here and a vegan cafe, the lure of a horror themed evening swayed us. The place is amazing! There is Frankenstein-esque design and the cocktails have Frankenstein names such as Dr Frankenstein and The Bride. We ordered The Generator, which is a mix of vodka, cranberry juice, lime and red bull.  And the chips are vegan. We’re in for a great night.Frankensteins pub, Edinbrugh

We met up with the tour by St Giles Cathedral. We’d booked with City of the Dead Tours. Our tour guide Jerry was brilliant. Absolutely nuts but very entertaining, ducking and creeping past the other tour. Neen and us joined in. Ryan pretended he wasn’t with us. He does that a lot. Think we embarrass him or something…The kirkyard had stunning monuments but when we were further in, we looked at the sparse headstones and were thinking ‘this isn’t much of a graveyard. There’s no-one here’. Turned out, during the plague, they built those plague pits. We were in fact standing on half a million dead bodies. The top soil is made up of 2% human remains and every now and again when it rains, bits of bone seep to the surface. But we weren’t allowed to take any home as souvenirs. It’s considered grave robbing, which is still a hanging offence in Scotland and you will be placed under house arrest until hanging comes back into fashion. Like all past nightmares, it’s bound to happen soon. Look at the seventies hairstyles currently assaulting our visual senses.

We were really looking forwards to someone on the tour being attacked by the MacKenzie poltergeist, especially if it happened to one of the C.A.T.S. team. The one thing our show is missing is a violent poltergeist attack.  And Red Bull sponsorship. As the guide talked about the poltergeist, the group started getting more and more nervous. We were getting more and more excited. Then we were led into the Covenanters prison, where the Covenanters were forced to live naked outside for months, with little food and water. We were taken into a tomb and told the story of a tramp disturbing MacKenzie’s mausoleum and waking the poltergeist. Then a guy in a mask leapt in, shrieking. Most of the tour screamed in terror and shot backwards, further into the tomb. Neen and us didn’t even react. Neen had seen him move into position and we’re really hard to scare. Ryan jumped.264

The tour was brilliant, but the jumping out wasn’t necessary. We were in a graveyard at night, that’s haunted by a violent poltergeist. There doesn’t need to be any tricks. We checked ourselves for scratches, bruises and bites when we got back but sadly we were all unharmed. Maybe next time…

Greyfriar's Kirkyard

10 Comments

  1. Great to hear about your adventure! I was impressed you got a photo walking up to the plane – if it even looks like you’re doing anything but walking in a straight line out there, those people tend to get twitchy. Well done! And looks like you had mostly clear weather. GOOD TIMES!! 😀

    • they were definitely good times! The security guard was so distracted by Lynx filming, he didn’t notice Cat taking a photo 😀 The weather was pretty good. The only time it properly rained, we were on the tour bus, so it didn’t matter. We want to go back!

      • Yay! Then the city did its job 😀

      • it did indeed 🙂 If we could afford it, we’d buy a second home up there.

  2. You had Jerry do the tour! He was the best part – I loved that tour but I agree, they didn’t need to have anyone jump out, the atmosphere of the place did that job for them.
    So now you know where Anna pulled as well ….

    More more!

    • You had Jerry too? That’s amazing! He was brilliant. And we do know where Anna pulled 😉 Although we didn’t pinch any bagpipe player’s arse. Feel like we wasted an opportunity there…

  3. Read earlier on the iPad but couldn’t comment. As always, I laughed several times. I do think y’all deserve Redbull sponsorship.

    • LOL thanks, so do we. Sadly it is yet to come. One day…

  4. What fun! Thank you for sharing your adventures, I am looking forward to hearing more 🙂

    • 🙂 we’ll be posting more today. Glad you’re enjoying them!


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