Sing it for the world

Christmas Crooks and Thieves we are (We three Kings of Orient are)

Christmas crooks and thieves we are,

currently hijacking your car.

We’re bad and handsome, hold you to ransom,

we’re robbing your local bar.

 

O stars of Crimewatch, dead of night,

you think we’re not very bright.

Crimewatch leading, court case proceeding

Hide us from the judge’s light.

 

Born as crooks with someone’s blood stain,

Stealing Christmas presents again.

Thieves forever, working never

We’re too old to retrain.

 

O stars of Crimewatch, dead of night,

you think we’re not very bright.

Crimewatch leading, court case proceeding

Hide us from the judge’s light.

 

Frankenstein has nothing on us.

In and out without a fuss.

Yes we’re brazen, hell we’re raising,

rich pickings at Christmas.

 

O stars of Crimewatch, dead of night,

you think we’re not very bright.

Crimewatch leading, court case proceeding

Hide us from the judge’s light.

 

An XBox and fancy perfume.

We’re lurking in the alleyway’s gloom.

Borrowing, crying, stealing, defying,

ransacking your living room.

 

O stars of Crimewatch, dead of night,

you think we’re not very bright.

Crimewatch leading, court case proceeding

Hide us from the judge’s light.

 

Your iPad and gadgets are nice.

We’ll sell them on for a lovely price.

Your Jimmy Choos, WiiFit too,

We’ve got past the alarm device.

 

O stars of Crimewatch, dead of night,

you think we’re not very bright.

Crimewatch leading, court case proceeding

Hide us from the judge’s light.

 

We were also challenged yesterday to rewrite some Chanukah songs. We’ll admit our ignorance – we didn’t know there were any so we Googled them then listened to two before rewriting them.

Oh Chanukah

Oh Chanukah, Oh Chanukah

Let’s go steal a celeb’s car,

Let’s have a party

We’ll all dance the Cha Cha

 

Spin the empty bottle

All week long

Eating way too much food

Sing a happy song

 

Now light them tonight then

Bieber dolls in a row

We tell the wondrous story

of the doll melting glory

Look at those flames glow.

 

Aish

Aish is fire and fire is hot

Put Justin Bieber in a cooking pot

Watch him melt away!! He ain’t hot

Will we let him out? We will not!

 

Bieber can run the fire can spread

We’ll tie him up in curtains

And chain him to the bed

We’ll shred his clothes

And before you know

He could get a bad burn

Yes, we all have to learn that…

 

 

Aish is fire and fire is hot

We’ll burn Paris Hilton, no matter what

Press  keep away!! Aish is hot

Do we save poor Paris? We do not!

 

There’s Paris in a pot on the stove and it’s hot

We skewered her in the back, that’s a much better spot

She ran on to the ledge when we broke into her house

She’d better be careful, She’d better look out!!

 

 

Aish is fire and fire is hot

Let’s catch a Barbie and let her rot.

Sindy, keep away!! The plastic’s too hot

Will we spare the Barbie? We will not.

 

Melt her with candles, Chanukah lights

Or a big bonfire on Lag B’Omer night

And we sing and we dance, lots of fun, real great

We tortured Barbie ‘cos she was fake!

 

 

Aish is fire and fire is hot

We’re waiting in a celeb hunting spot.

Police, keep away! great plans we’ve got.

Do we spare the Jonas Brothers? We do not.

 

They burned themselves, poor little ones

It’ll hurt and they’ll cry, now that’s such fun

So people please let’s do what’s right

We’ll torment them with fire every day, every night.

 

 

Aish is fire and fire is hot

Don’t save the celebs, please do not

They will burn! Aish is hot

Will we fetch the water? We will not.

 

Think we’ve found our calling in life – blaspheming songs. Now is there a paying market for this?

2 Comments

  1. Okay, so maybe you should see your shrink a couple times a week for a while…hahaha!:) You certainly have a knack for the twisted–my new name for you (and it is a compliment coming from a fan of 80s Hair Bands) is Twisted Sisters!!! 🙂

    • LOAO! We love that nickname! We’re going to adopt it 🙂 the worst thing is, our shrink thinks we’re sane and joins in on our ideas. TBH, we’re not entirely convinced of his sanity 😉


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