“It’s not much a life when you’re just a pretty face. Just to be whoever you are is no disgrace. Don’t be scared if you don’t fit in *cue creepy piano music* look who’s in the rejects’ bin” no it’s not the Raggy Dolls. It’s us. AGAIN. *Sighing loudly and slumping over laptop, faces mushing into screen in horror death pose* Yesterday was a very bad day. Parliament of Monsters, Scott the Zombie’s short story got rejected. Not just rejected. They gave us a free bad critique too, just to rub salt in the wounds. Now we know not everyone will like our work. Hell if they did, we would be bombarding you with tales of success. *watching tumbleweed tumble by* They said ‘the premise of the piece was interesting but it did not completely grab me. The prose and dialogue, although they possess an interesting energy and quirkiness, need polishing. The pacing could use some smoothing out as well as it feels a bit uneven in some spots. The descriptive language has personality but in some areas feels clumsily constructed and seems to trip over itself. All that aside the humour bears promise and the characters are pretty intriguing. I think the story has the potential to be rather fun and unique.’ Yeah. Ouch. Now in almost every rave rejection we’ve had, everyone praises our descriptive writing and dialogue. The very two things this magazine slated. ‘The humour bears promise’? really? in other words – this isn’t funny. ‘The descriptive language has personality but is clumsy constructed and trips over itself.’ Translation – it’s crap. ‘The story has the potential to be fun and unique’ – you tried being different and failed miserably. Now pack up your laptop and bugger off. Never darken our door again. Duly noted.

Then just to kick us in the goolies when we were down, Majesty of Darkness got rejected by a publisher. So that’s 5 agents and 1 publisher. We’ve now sent it to a dozen beta readers (fine, our FB friends) for their feedback so we can see where we’re going wrong. To cheer ourselves up we submitted another short story, Six String Hearts to a magazine yesterday and we’ve sent The Creeping Darkness off today. So we’ll keep you updated on our next batch of failures. A career as pole dancers is looking more and more likely. Stephen King once said he could paper a wall with his rejection slips. Hell we can papers all the walls in our neighbours’ houses too. Maybe we’ll put some flashing nipple tassels on our Christmas list. No wait, we don’t do Christmas. Will we get them on expenses?

But we do have SOME good news – we’ve got our first ever guest bloggers for this sinking ship that is Ravens Retreat 🙂 Lacey Wolfe, erotic author extraordinaire will be appearing on here in December when her next erotic novella, Fool Me Once is released. We read her first one, Amber’s Muse recently and absolutely loved it. We’ve never read erotic fiction before and we highly recommend you download it. Do it now! NOW! Julie Anne Lindsey will be guesting in February when her debut novella Bloom is released. If it’s anything like her tweets, you’re in for a treat. She’s hilarious. We follow these amazing ladies on Twitter and urge anyone reading this to do the same. JOIN US *insert creepy laughter*