Afternoon nutritious brains! I come bearing good news – my Necromancers are redrafting my novel */* Wonder if I can get a new dance craze going. Move over Macarena, it’s time for The Zombie! Turns out, waiting until NaNoWriMo starts was too much for them so they decided to redraft my novel in the meantime. That’s the official party line. The truth is, a six month absence from me was too much for their little blackened hearts to bear. They can deny it all they want, but I can hear them giggling at my witty one-liners and falling in love with me all over again. Well who WOULDN’T? I’m dead sexy 😉
I’ve heard them promise that if that other novel (I won’t say it’s name) gets rejected, MY novel will be sent out. Personally, I think they should only concentrate on my novel, but they claim it has to be cut. As long as it’s Tyler’s bit that gets cut and not mine. Otherwise there will be a rebellion of apocalyptic proportions. I may be dead but damn it I can still start a rebellion. No-one wants a hungry, vengeance fuelled zombie on the rampage. I may look hot and trustworthy but I can tackle a screaming human and crack open skulls like nobody’s business.
Anyhoo, I am SO excited about my novel being redrafted. I bet the moment they send it out I’ll be receiving film offers, photographers and life art classes will be begging me to pose for them, my face will appear on t-shirts, merchandise, I’ll be the latest superhero (one that can’t die. Suck on THAT, bad guys), I’ll have my own comic, kids will want pics taken with me, girls will want me signing my name on their boobs, guys will dress like me… I’ll be the best thing to happen to zombies since George A Romero started making films. Hey, if anyone knows him, give him my number. He’d love to have me in his film. My asking rate is pretty low. £I million. Fine. Half a million. *groaning* fine! £1000 and I get to eat the cast’s brains afterwards.