Building Bite

Hey moreish brains, Scott here! It feels like FOREVER since I last did a blog. Those bloody Necromancers of mine have been hogging it, like it’s theirs or something. Anyhoo, they’ve got the builders in at the moment as their having their loft converted. Well the rest of it anyway. One half is their gym, but they’re having an ensuite bedroom. I’m so excited. They haven’t said anything yet, but I’m certain they’re building it for ME! My very own room in the attic. Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that where the crazy people are kept? *glaring at Necromancers* They’re convinced one of the builders looks like a serial killer. They’re so paranoid they thought when he took his t-shirt off, it was so he wouldn’t get blood on it. And just because the stairs and landing are covered in plastic sheeting, does not mean they’re about to star in an episode of Dexter. I reckon they’re the ones who need an attic room. Part of me thinks I should maybe not go to their assistance if the serial killer lookalike strikes. I’ve been after their brains for quite a while now and it would save the betrayal in their eyes if I’m not the one who bludgeons them. Now that their crippling darkshines appear to have passed (for now) their brains will taste so much nicer. No-one likes chewing on heartbroken brains. You can really taste the tears. They give the brain an unpleasant salty taste then I end up miserable.

But then, if my Necromancers reach a tricksy end, my book and cookbook won’t get published. God damn it! They always manage to wriggle out of me eating them. This isn’t fair! But if I DO save them they might get round to writing that graphic novel I’ve been badgering them about. I’ve left so many hints, even helped them out by doing my own comic strip. Ok my drawings aren’t great (Tyler says they look like a five year old drew them) but you try holding a pencil when you’re dead. Ooh, a builder just walked past. Oh look, he’s alone. I’ll just…ha! Bet you never thought your wrench was dual purpose! Into the skip he goes and mmmmmm spaghetti bologbrains for lunch. Nom nom nom