Swear Box

Hey moreish brains, it’s Scott here with bad news, I’m afraid. My short story, Parliament of Monsters was rejected 😦 Apparently the editor enjoyed it but didn’t feel the ending engaged him enough to take it to the next round. As I’m sure you’ll agree, this is entirely my Necromancers’ fault 😀 Boy they’re lucky I can’t get someone else to write my story for me. It’s hard finding people willing to not only sit down and talk to a zombie, but to agree to write a novel about him. Personally I think they’re a couple of patients short of an asylum, but you’ve got to work with the raw materials you have.

The extract I had published in the March issue of Writing Magazine has also taken a bit of criticism because there’s a swear word in the opening line. :O A swear word? In today’s Victorian society? How scandalous! Apparently, the outraged writer, upon seeing a swear word would refuse to read any more and seeing as this swear word was in the opening line, that’s my book fu- screwed. Ok, the opening line was spoken by Tyler, not me. I can’t help it if Tyler has a potty mouth. I’ve tried scrubbing his tongue with soap but he bit me and foamed at the mouth like some rabid beast. I was forced to lock myself in my freezer until it was safe to come out. I think it’s a little unfair to refuse to read a book because it has a swear word in it. You hear people swearing, are you going to say “I’m not going to finish this conversation because you said a naughty word”? No. Are you going to switch off your favourite TV show because one of the characters dropped the f-bomb? (Let’s get this straight – Tyler did not drop the f-bomb) I hope not. But then I guess this person only watches cosy family dramas that are about as exciting as breathing. But as my Necromancers remind me, so what if he won’t read the rest of my story? I got another mention in the magazine = free publicity 🙂 This was the line that caused so much offence – “Oh shit. You ate Alicia.” I love the way Tyler swearing caused this writer more offence than me snacking on my colleague in the disused corridor of De’Ath’s supermarket.

Scott x

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