Yeah I’m a zombie baby, ain’t nobody perfect

Good afternoon exquisite brains! Wow I thought I’d never get back on here. Good news! My Necromancers have finally stopped playing the field with their ghost stories and vampire stories (they assure me those stories meant nothing to them, but it doesn’t matter. The trust has gone) and they are back with me! I’m so happy I feel like going out and eating an artist to celebrate. They’re hoping to be able to send my novel to the Yeovil Prize in May so are redrafting it, implementing James McCreet’s suggestions. I keep hearing them laugh. Clearly they regret the time we’ve spent apart and rightly so! Ghosts aren’t funny. They’re just tryhard wannabees. I wanted to live so much I forced my body back to life. What have ghosts ever done for mankind? Ooh they can knock on walls. Big deal. I can chase down and body tackle a screaming human. And I show up in photographs. There’s no denying MY existence 😀

Seeing as they are now working on my book, I can no longer eat them (for the time being). However, their BFM Ryan (stands for boyfriend/mate as for some strange reason he liked one of them. Don’t ask me which one, I can’t tell them apart. I pity the fool) is round here a lot and his brain just KEEPS coming on to me. If it was a dancer, its moves would be x-rated. Not only is he good looking, hilarious and intelligent, he writes AND he’s an expert gamer. If I ate his brain I would be unstoppable on the PS3. I’m sure once I’ve explained to my Necromancers that it’s him or them they’ll graciously hand him over then my reign of gaming terror can begin!

All this talk of brains is making me hungry. Is there anyone around? Wait one juicy moment. A delivery van’s just pulled up outside. That’s it, he’s getting out. Yes! He’s coming here. He has a package for my Necromancers. I’ll just take a step to the right and…oh my god he’s a fighter! Quick Necromancers, pin him down! Oh man, that would’ve hurt if I’d still been alive. Good job dead men can’t have children 😦

Scott x

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