Hey decadant brains, Scott here. Did everyone see the critique James McCreet wrote about the first 300 words of my novel? I’d like to point out all the mistakes were entirely of my Necromancers’ doing. I’m just a puppet in their malevolent hands. I know it wasn’t mentioned in the article, (probably due to word count) but I’m sure that Mr. McCreet meant to say I’m the most exceptional character since…well, ever. Though I’m a little disappointed that the magazine only wanted a photo of my Necromancers. It’s my book – the photo should’ve been of me. And when my Necromancers were signing copies for their FB friends in America, they conveniently ‘forgot’ to ask me to sign them. Between you and me, I think they’re trying to oust me out of my own franchise. I won’t stand for it! Heads will roll! Theirs, obviously.
I’m a little concerned George A Romero hasn’t contacted me yet about starring in my own film – Scott the Zombie. It will be a hit! Surely he doesn’t want to miss out on the biggest star of 2011? An FB fan of mine thinks me having a death certificate makes it hard to put me on the payroll but De’Ath’s supermarket manage to employ me. Ok, so I use a fake name – Scott le Zombie (I told my boss, Prince Smarming that it’s Polish) but still. The dead have rights too y’know. Speaking of which, why aren’t we allowed to vote? Maybe I need to write to my MP. Ooh, hang on, I smell something delicious. O. M. G. A sculptor just walked past my window. Her brain is singing to me and dancing with sparklers. Man I’m starving. Gotta go. A brain burger and chips awaits! I can make a sculpture of myself and put it in Gorsedd Gardens in town!
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