The Final Countdown

Howdy my delectable brains! Scott here. Only two weeks to go until an extract of my novel will be critiqued in Writing Magazine! It will hit the shops Feb 3rd. So Feb 3rd will now be known as International Scott the Zombie Day. I’m declaring it a public holiday, so take the day off and read my extract. Hmm, maybe I hould read it first, in case my Necromancers have screwed me over in a bid to get rid of me… anyway, I reckon, the day my novel is published, should be International Scott the Zombie Day, celebrated by everyone, except bookshops and my Necromancers, who will have to sell my book. They don’t deserve a holiday. I can see it now, everyone wearing I ♥ Scott the Zombie t-shirts, or dressed as zombies, people selling brain-related meals or brain shaped biscuits, everyone doing the Thriller dance…ok, maybe not, but definitely wearing the t-shirts. There will be big displays of my book in all the bookshops, next to a cardboard cut-out of me…I’ll have to make sure I’m embalmed the day before – don’t want my big day ruined by rotting-related incidences.

My Necromancers were talking to Tyler today and he reckons the book would make a good film. I think I belong in Hollywood. No, not because I’m fake and have more plastic than a Lego factory. Shut up Tyler. But because I’m going to be a major star. I need my own star on the walk of fame, my name up in lights. I think I’ve mentioned my franchise before. But with this publication, I’ll be a step closer to world domination. Just don’t tell my Necromancers. They’ve had their eyes on world domination for a while now and I’ve promised to help them. What they don’t know is, I plan to ditch those losers soon as I make the big time. Whoops, I think they heard. They’re looking really cross. Don’t shake your fists at me! I know where you keep your brains!

I better run. Don’t forget. Feb 3rd. Put it in your diaries. Or else…

Scott xx

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