Mistaken Identity

Picture the scene. One minute you’re in Starbucks, having just given a mate of a copy of your latest publication, the next you’ve been mistaken for prostitutes.

No, we don’t mean someone mistook us for Belle De Jour and asked for an autograph. This is what happened. Yesterday we met up with our mate Neil, to give him a copy of Writing Magazine, with our winning ghost story, Field of Screams in. We were discussing that, how thrilled he was for us, our submission mission, poetry performance on Monday and future writing/performance plans. Then as we were walking home, there was a blue car in the traffic queue pumping music with a heavy bass. Don’t ask us what it was, we worship in the church of rock (My Chemical Romance are our fav. band but if you’ve been reading this you already know that). We immediately knew something was going to happen. Call it paranoia, gut instinct or experience, but we knew. Next thing, the passenger bellows out the window “oi! How much d’you charge?” When we ignored him, it was followed by “Oi!” several times & whistling. Gotta have the whistling. We actually found the whole thing very funny – one because we weren’t dressed at all like prostitutes (Cat was wearing black PVC trousers, a red and black corset top, black pirate jacket and flat grey boots. Lynx wore black trousers with safety pins all over them, a black corset top, a grey drummer boy jacket & the same boots as Cat) and two because it happened at 3pm. Not normal prostitute hours. We were actually impressed he managed a full sentence. Usually it’s just “FREAKS!” Or other one-word insults, almost always accompanied by a missile (like what happened last month). It could be that we’ve wrongly assumed he mistook us for prostitutes. There could be plenty of reasons for that question – how much d’you charge: for your autograph; a photo shoot; personal appearances; to appear on GMTV; to pose as my friend; to ghost write my life story? All possible alternatives. Whilst we haven’t exactly got a glittering writing career, we’d like to think it hasn’t come to this already.

Speaking of our submission mission, we’re hit 49. We’ve just sent off a 10k word story to America. It was last submitted in September 2008, so we cut almost two thousand words from it, did several redrafts and sent it off. It’s hard finding places for such a long short story, so hopefully we’ll be successful with the first couple of magazines we try. We’ve also just bought the latest edition of Writers and Artists Yearbook, to help us with our submission mission and are trading publishers with our American friends on Facebook. Our talons are firmly crossed. Starting to get arthritis now… 🙂