Blog off!

Nominations for the Author Blog Awards open today and run until April 2nd. You can nominate at You have to sign up, but it’ll only take a few minutes. What’s a few minutes compared to a lifetime of glory? We’ve already signed up and voted. No, it’s not sad. Somebody has to vote for us. Well known authors will have millions of fans voting for them. Nobody knows us. Mention C L Raven and people quoth “Nevermore.” We can count one one hand (talons?) the amount of people who probably read this blog and they’re known to us personally so probably only read it out of politeness and promises of a share in the Raven empire – which has so far amount to £25 royalties and we already spent it on a laptop adaptor. So if you do read this blog and aren’t personally known to us, feel free to drop a comment, even if it’s just to say hi, so that we know we’re not talking to ourselves. It gets lonely up here in Raven Towers with nobody but the rats for company. Ok, he’s a hamster but he’s almost the size of a rat. Back to the blog awards. We’re not ashamed to beg for votes. Please please please please please please please please please PLEASE vote for us. If we win, we promise, no teary thank you speeches. We’ll save those for when we win any bad writing awards. Y’know, like the Golden Raspberries they have as opposed to the Oscars. We’re a shoe in for one of those. Raspberries that is, not Oscars. Talent shows prove it’s not about being the best, it’s about getting the most votes. We’re an oil spill in the sea of talent. What’s the worst than can happen? We might win. Let’s make 2010 the year of the Raven! (Those who nominate us will be given staff positions when we take over the world. Those who don’t…TRAITORS WILL BE PERSECUTED!)

Our star sign says at the moment we can be very persuasive. This is a blatant lie. We can’t persuade editors and publishers to publish our work, we can’t persuade hot guys to come out with us, hell, we can’t even persuade our cats to eat the food we give them! They look at it like we’ve put worms in their bowls then remind us in no uncertain terms that they used to be worshipped. Cats – such god complexes. But we’ll give it a go at persuading you to nominate us for an Author Blog Award. There’s two categories, published and unpublished. We think we’d probably be in the unpublished one, because as Fall Out Boy say in ‘I’m like a lawyer in the way I’m always trying to get you off (me and you)’ – ‘we’re the new face of failure.’ Think of this as an epic battle – one that’ll go down in history, like the Spartans against that massive army. We’re Alexander the Great and you’re our loyal Spartans, prepared to go into battle against the mighty armies that other famous, brilliant authors have. We’re a raggedy bunch, ill-trained, ill-equipped, ill-prepared (yes, we know it’s unprepared, but we’re going for alliteration here) but we have fire in our bellies, passion in our hearts and an overwhelming desire to WIN! Hey, it worked for Braveheart.

Please nominate us for an Author Blog Award. Please nominate us for an Author Blog Award. Please nominate us for an Author Blog Award.

Are we persuading you yet?

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