Welcome Lacey Wolfe

We are thrilled to welcome the lovely Lacey Wolfe to Ravens’ Retreat. Lacey is the author of Amber’s Muse, a brilliant erotic novella about Amber, an erotic author who needs a muse for her steamy love scenes and finds a willing guinea pig in her hunky neighbour, Jax. Her second novella, Fool Me Once, is [...]

Losing It

We’re not going to bore you by moaning about what crappy lives we’ve had – trust us, they’ve been crappy – because this isn’t The Jeremy Kyle Show. We wouldn’t get invited on there anyway – we’re not Chavs who have no idea who the baby’s daddy is. Anyhoo, we wear our scars with pride [...]

We Wish you a Bloody Christmas

We wish you a bloody Christams We wish you a bloody Christmas;  We wish you a bloody Christmas; We wish you a bloody Christmas and a crappy New Year. Severed heads we bring as we slay your kin; Severed heads for Christmas and a crappy New Year.   Oh, bring us the head of Santa; [...]

Bieber Fever

Bieber, All I Want for Christmas is you I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there’s just one thing I need. To see that twat Justin Bieber hanging from the Christmas tree. I just want his severed head, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true, Bieber all I want for Christmas [...]

Winter Murderland

Winter Murderland Death tolls ring, are you listening, In the lane, blood is glistening A macabre sight, We’re frightened tonight. Walking in a winter murderland.   Gone away are the good souls, Here to stay are the bad souls We sing a rock song, As we go along, Walking in a winter murderland.   In [...]

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells Hiding in the dark spying on Wentworth today, we gave his tush a tweak, laughing all the way. (Mwa ha ha) A big net we did bring, his eyes did shine so bright. What fun it is to laugh and sing A stalking song tonight   Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Screaming all [...]

12 days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,  Wentworth sent to me  Bieber hung from a tree.    On the second day of Christmas,  Wentworth sent to me  Two skeletons,  And Bieber hung from a tree.    On the third day of Christmas,  Wentworth sent to me  Three skull rings,  Two skeletons,  And Bieber hung from a [...]

Halloween on Christmas

We’re Going to Halloweentown (Santa Claus is coming to town) Go to the woods, Find the right tree, Follow Zero Into Halloween. We’re going to Halloweentown.   We’ll meet up with Sally, And hang out with Jack. We’ll help get his Halloween love back. We’re going to Halloweentown     Jack Skellington’s the greatest, ’Cos [...]

Deck the Halls

Merry Christmas Everybody Are you hanging up your hit list on your wall? It’s the time that Assassins have a ball. Will he use a sniper rifle? Have you got ten grand to pay? Will he have the job completed in a day?   So here he is, on your hit list, Everybody grab a [...]

Hymn Hallelujah!

A Slay in a Manger A slay in a manger, A coffin for a bed The sweet Jason Voorhees Chopped off someone’s head.   The stars in the bright sky Looked where bodies lay At the three wise men All slain on the hay.   The pumpkins are glowing The heads he will take But [...]

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